What Do You Call Six Weeks Of Rain In Scotland?B by : Ajit Hari Sahu on 03-Oct-2005 Views : 379 What do you call six weeks of rain in Scotland?
What do you call six weeks of rain in Scotland?
Summer!
Every Scotsman's FantasyB by : Ajit Hari Sahu on 03-Oct-2005 Views : 411 Every Scotsman's Fantasy
Every Scotsman's fantasy is to have two women....one cleaning, the other dusting...
A Italian Businessman On His Deathbed ...B by : Ajit Hari Sahu on 02-Oct-2005 Views : 398 A Italian businessman on his deathbed ...
A Italian businessman on his deathbed called his good friend and said, "Luigi, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated."
"And what," his friend asked, "do you want me to do with your ashes?"
The businessman said, "Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the IRS...and write on the envelope, 'Now you have everything.'"
Irish TelephonesB by : Ajit Hari Sahu on 02-Oct-2005 Views : 382 Irish Telephones
Recently, Germany conducted some scientific exploration involving their best scientists. Core drilling samples of earth were taken to a depth of 50m and during the core examinations, small pieces of copper were discovered. After running many arduous tests on these samples, the German government announced that the ancient Germans 25,000 years ago had a nationwide telephone network.
Naturally, the British government was not that easily impressed. So they ordered their own scientists to take their core samples at a depth of 100m. From these samples, they found small pieces of glass and soon announced that the ancient Brits 35,000 years ago already had a nationwide optical fibre network.
Irish scientists were outraged. So immediately after this announcement, they ordered their scientist to take samples at a depth of 200m but found absolutely nothing. They concluded that the ancient Irish 55,000 h years ago were an even more advanced civilisation, as they already had a mobile telephone network in place.
ManyanaB by : Ajit Hari Sahu on 02-Oct-2005 Views : 434 Manyana
Spanish singer Julio Iglesias was on television with British TV host Anne Diamond when he used the word 'manyana'. Diamond asked him to explain what it meant. He said that the term means "maybe the job will be done tomorrow, maybe the next day, maybe the day after that. Perhaps next week, next month, next year. Who cares?" The host turned to Irishman Shay Brennan who was also on the show and asked him if there was an equivalent term in Irish. "No. In Ireland we don't have a word to describe that degree of urgency.", replied Brennan.
A Texan Rancher Comes To IrelandB by : Ajit Hari Sahu on 02-Oct-2005 Views : 342 A Texan Rancher Comes to Ireland
A Texan rancher comes to Ireland and meets a Kerry farmer.
The Texan says : "Takes me a whole day to drive from one side of my ranch to the other."
The Kerry farmer says:"Ah sure, I know, sir. We have tractors like that over here too."
The Scottish FarmerB by : Ajit Hari Sahu on 02-Oct-2005 Views : 334 The Scottish Farmer
A Scottish farmer was in his field digging up his potatoes. An American farmer looked over the fence and said
"In Texas we grow potatoes 5 times larger than that!"
The Scotsman replied " Ah but we just grow them for our own mouths son!"
Rain In TexasB by : Ajit Hari Sahu on 02-Oct-2005 Views : 401 Rain in Texas
A visitor to Texas once asked, "Does it ever rain out here?"
A rancher quickly answered, "Yes, it does."
"When?" asked the visitor.
"Do you remember that part in the Bible where it rained for 40 days
and 40 nights?"
The visitor replied, "Yes, I'm familiar with Noah's flood."
"Well," the rancher puffed up, "we got about half an inch that time."
Two Italian Guys Are Driving Through Texas ...B by : Ajit Hari Sahu on 02-Oct-2005 Views : 350 Two Italian guys are driving through Texas ...
Two Italian guys are driving through Texas when they get pulled over by a state trooper. The trooper walks up and taps on the window with his nightstick.
The driver rolls down the window, and the trooper smacks him in the head with the stick. The driver says, "Why'd you do that?
The trooper says, "You're in Texas, son. When I pull you over, you'll have your license ready."
Driver says, "I'm sorry, officer, I'm not from around here."
The trooper runs a check on the guy's license, and he's clean. He gives the guy his license back and walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger rolls his window down, and the trooper smacks him with the nightstick.
The passenger says, "What'd you do that for?"
The cop says, "Just making your wishes come true." The passenger says, "Huh?"
The cop says, "I know that two miles down the road you're gonna say, 'I wish that guy would've tried that crap with me!
One Texas SoldierB by : Ajit Hari Sahu on 02-Oct-2005 Views : 350 One Texas Soldier
A large group of Taliban soldiers are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand-dune. "One Texas soldier is better than ten Taliban".
The Taliban commander quickly sends 10 of his best soldiers over the dune whereupon a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silence.
The voice then calls out "One Texan is better than one hundred Taliban".
Furious, the Taliban commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune and instantly a huge gunfight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence.
The Texan voice calls out again "One Texan is better than one thousand Taliban".
The enraged Taliban Commander musters one thousand fighters and sends them across the dune. Cannon, rocket and machine gun fire ring out as a huge battle is fought. Then silence.
Eventually one wounded Taliban fighter crawls back over the dune and with his dying words tells his commander, "Don't send any more men, its a trap. There's actually two of them."
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