Nationalty Jokes

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Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
Man says 'CHIN YU YAN' and dies.
Sardar goes to china to find the meaning of his
friend's last words.
It is "YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN PIPE. !!"

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Top Ten Ways to Recognize an NRI

(May not apply towards NRIs returning from Gulf)

10. One who requests the autorickshaw driver to drive slowly and clutches the seat-cushion nervously.
9. One who just bought a case of Bisleri mineral water.
8. One who gets upset if the train is only six hours behind schedule.
7. One who is nervously gazing at the Green channel at the Customs clearance of airport.
6. One who prefers eating fruits to Poori at the train stations.
5. Basically, any man who is changing a baby's diaper.
4. One who does not wait, for the coolie at the train station, and hauls his/her own 30" suitcase.
3. One who feels embarassed to run after the railway conductor, for reservation.
2. One who says, "say cheese" when taking a picture.
1. One who has gained more FREQUENT FLYER mileage from trips to the toilet.

From: Krishna Prasad. (Prasad@biologysx.lan.nrc.ca).

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A lie machine is bought.
It works in the following way:

If the truth is told- the machine wont give any sound, if a lie is told- the machine will give a sound 'KIRRRRRRRR...'

Now there are three Indians. One Bengali,one Madrasi and one Sardarji.

Their correspondences are given in front of the lie machine.
Here it goes......

Bengali:- 'I think I can eat 30 rosogullas at a time!'
Lie machine:-'KIRRRRRRRR...'
Bengali:-'No no, I think I can eat 10 rosogullas at a time'
Lie machine:- no sound(truth is told)

Madrasi:-'I think i can eat 25 dosas at a time'
Lie machine:-'KIRRRRRRRR...'
Madrasi:-'No no,I think i can eat 10 dosas at a time'
Lie machine:-no sound(truth)

Sardarji:-'I think....'
Lie machine:- 'KIRRRRRRRR...'
Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:-'KIRRRRRRRR...'.
Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:-'KIRRRRRRRR...'
Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:-''KIRRRRRRRR...'
Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:-''KIRRRRRRRR...'
Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:-''KIRRRRRRRR...'
Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:-''KIRRRRRRRR...'
Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:-''KIRRRRRRRR...'

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In one airbus there was a Japanese looking passenger next to an American.Having curiosity about his nationality,american asked him "what is (eese) you are?".
Man paused for a while and asked,what do you mean?
I mean whether you are a Chinese,japanese or Thaiwanese etc.
He replied,I am a Chinese.
American left a hated look at him and showed his displeasure.
Few minites later Chinese asked from American,
what kee you are?
What you mean ?
I mean Yankee,Donkey,or Monkey !!

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Three Indian soldiers, Jai Reddy (Tamil), Joy Bosu (Bengali), and Santa Singh(Punjab) are captured by Pakistani Army.
The Pakistani Corp commander does not want to have them as POWs and has decided to execute them. They are asked what they wish to have for their last meal.
The Reddy asks for a Masala Dosai, which he is served and then taken away.
The Bosu requests a Machli Bhath, which he is served and also taken away.
Santa requests Sarson ka saag and Makki di roti. The captors are surprised and reply ' Sarson?' 'Yes, Sarson.' 'Arre Sarson to is season mein aati nahin hai!'
'Koi gall nahin.Asi intezaar kara ge.'say Santa.

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Q1. How was wire invented?
A1. Two marwaris spotted the same coin.

Q2. Why is India a banana republic?
A2. Because Rajiv kept chanting, "Hame ye banana hai, wo banana hi.

Q3. What is a communist Sindhi called?
A3. Lalwani.

Q4. What is a Sindhi who falls from the first floor called?
A4. Thadani.

Q5. What is a Sindhi who falls from the 30th.
floor called?
A5. Marjani.

Q6. What are the degrees of egoism in Tamil Nadu?
A6. I, Iyer, Iyengar.

Q7. What is a jiving Sardar called?
A7. Breakdan Singh.

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Haven't you always wondered how "Americanisms" would sound like if they were translated literally to an average Indian on, say, the streets of New Delhi (or elsewhere).
1. Have a nice day! - Achaa din lo!
2. What's up? - Uppar kya hai?
3. You're kidding! - Tum bachaa bana rahe ho!
4. Don't kid me! - Mera bachaa mat banaao!
5. Yo, baby! What's up? - Beti Yo, uppar kya hai?
6. Cool man! - Thandaa aadmi!
7. Don't mess with me, dude. - Mere saath gandagee mat karo, ek hustee.
8. Check this out, man! - Iski chaanbeen karo, aadmi!
9. She's so fine! - Woh itnee baareek hai!
10. Listen buddy, that chick's mine, okay! - Suno dost, woh choozaa mera hai, theek?
11. Hey good looking; what's cooking? - Hey Sundari; kyaa pak raha hai?
12. Are you nuts? - Kya aap akhrot hain?
13. Son of a gun. - Bachcha bandook ka.
14. General Body Meeting - Saamanya Shaaririk Milan.
And the best one is.....
15. How do you do? - Kaise karte ho?

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American: In our country, marriage even takes place with email.
Santa: In India, it is only with female.

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I happened to be in Stockholm on a business trip last month and was dining in a restaurant. Before ordering my dinner I asked for a whisky.
"Which is the best Swedish whisky?" I asked the waiter.
"Sir are you from India?" he asked.
"Yes."
"Then you must try our very special brand Bofors, it gives you instant kickbacks."

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In NASA all the scientists together make one space shuttle, but they fail to launch it. Then they call different scientists from different parts of the world to launch the vehicle. But all of them also fail to launch it.
Then they call one Sardarji from India to launch the vehicle. Sardarji orders them to tilt the vehicle to 45 degrees angle then again get it to it's normal position. Then the vehicle gets Launched successfully.
After this the media people asked him that how did he get this idea. Then he replies that," In India if our scooter does not start then we tilt our scooter by 45 degrees angle and again bring it back to its normal position. Then the scooter gets started. The same idea I carried here."