Entertainment Jokes

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Ek Ma apne 12 Saal ke Bachhe ke saath bazar ja rahi thi...
Bachha: (ek tarf ishara karte hue) Ma.. Ma.. mujhe is jagah se fooljhadiyan leni hai..
Ma: Beta yahan pe foojhadiyan nahi milengi..
Bachha: Nahi Ma, mujhe pata hai.. yahaan pe fooljhadiyan zaroor milengi.. Aap mujhse jhooth bol rahe ho...
Ma: Nahi beta, Ye to ladkiyo ka hostel hai.. yahan pe fooljhadiyan nahi milengi..
Bachha: Lekin roz school se vaapas aate vakht Papa to kehte hai ki.. " Yahan pe bahut sari fooljhadiyan rehti hai.."

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SHAKESPEARE SAID,








NOTHING TO ME,
DID HE SAY ANYTHING TO YOU?
NOTHING NA?
GOOD!!.. KUCH BOLA TOH DEKH LENGE SALE KO!!!

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RAT : HW OLD R U ?
ELEPHANT : 15 YRS
RAT : BUT U LOOK BIG
ELPHT : I AM A COMPLAN BOY !!!
ELPHT : HOW OLD R U?
RAT : 30 YRS
ELPHT : BUT U LOOK SMALL
RAT : I USE PONDS AGE Miracle!!!

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Doctor to Jasbir: Ab aapki tabiyat kaisi hai.
Jasbir : Doctor saheb Pehle se jyada kharab ho gayi hai.
Doctor : Dawai khali thi kya?
Jasbir : Nahi doctor saheb. Dawai ki shishi to bhari hui thi.
Doctor : Are Jasbir ji mere kehne ka matlab hai ki, dawai le li thi kya.
Jasbir : Ji, aapne dawai de di thi aur maine le li thi.
Doctor: Abe, dawai pili thi kya?
Jasbir : Oho, nahi doctor saheb, dawai to lal thi.
Doctor : Abe GADHE, Dawai ko piliya tha kya?
Jasbir : Nahi Doctor, Piliya to mujhe tha.
Doctor( in frustration) : Abe teri to, Dawai ko muh lagakar Pet me dala tha ke nahi?
Jasbir : Nahi doctor saheb.
Doctor : Kyon?
Jasbir : Kyonki dhakkan band tha.
Doctor : Teri to.....sale. ....., to Khola kyon nahi.
Jasbir : Saheb, aapne hi to kaha tha ki, shishi ka dhakkan band rakhna.
Doctor : Tera ilaz main nahi kar sakta.....!! !
Jasbir : Accha Doctor saheb ye to bata do ki main thik kaise hounga?

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A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide."
The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."
The pharmacist's eye got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law! I'll lose my license!
They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

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Bivi ghar ki rasoi mein payi jane wali ek faltu musibat hai
Iska paushtik aahar pati ka bheja khana hai aur
Yeh pani kam khoon jyada peete hai.

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One candidate searching a job asked some one to get a job.
The man little thinking says there is a job worths salary Rs. 25,000/- per month!
Candidate: OK OK sir where is it Sir ?
The man : At Incometax circle.
Cadidate: what kind of the job is?
The man: To relive Gandhiji daily for Lunch & Dinner!!!

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Have I done anything wrong?
Then why are you avoiding me?
You avoid me since two weeks.
If you don't like me; tell.
It's really hurting me.

Yours faithfully....
TOOTHBRUSH.

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jab dekha tha tujhe us gali
tab se teri yaad aane lagi
jab dekha tujhe is gali
tab tu dil churane lagi
jab dekha tujhe gali-gali
tab pata chala to hai anarkali

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The CIA was recruiting for a top secret assignment. They were down to three recruits, two men and one woman. Only one could get the position. As a final test each recruit was led down a hallway to a large gray door. The CIA agents say to the first man, "We need to know that you will do whatever we say regardless of the circumstances. Take this gun, go into this room and kill your wife". A look of shock comes over the man's face. He says, "I can't kill my wife. I just can't do it. I guess I'm not the man for this job". "No, you're not", agree the agents, "You're free to go".

They bring the second man to the door and say, "We need to know that you will do whatever we say regardless of the circumstances.

Take this gun, go into this room and kill your wife". The man takes the gun and goes into the room. The room is silent and after five minutes the man opens the door, tears streaming down his face. "I tried," he says, "but I just couldn't do it. I can't kill my wife". The agents let him leave.

They bring the woman to the door and say, "We need to know that you will do whatever we say regardless of the circumstances. Take this gun, go into this room and kill your husband". She takes the gun and before the door closes behind her, she shoots off all 13 rounds emptying the gun.

The door closes behind her and for the next five minutes the agents hear loud banging and grunting. The door finally opens, revealing the sweat-drenched woman. She looks at both agents, wipes her brow and says, "Whew! You guys didn't tell me that the gun was filled with blanks -
I had to beat him to death with the chair!"